WITH Britain’s Got Talent in its sixth year it’s safe to say we’re all familiar with the format, buzzers and all – yawn. Cue the BBC to swoop in with an altogether new concept of Saturday night TV. Yes, The Voice was potentially the most anticipated talent show to date purely because it’s focus is on
the, er, talent. And the chairs, obviously.
To give credit where credit’s due, the concept is refreshing – or it was up to the current semi-final stage when it all started getting a little ‘X Factor’ and the chairs became stationary. The fact the majority of contestants bar a small few could actually sing was equally as refreshing. That, teamed with the lack of sob stories, appeared to be a winning combination.
So you could say I’m Team Voice, but that’s not to say I’m completely won over. Strike number one: Holly Willoughby. How they can give her so much air time and shove Reggie Yates and his chiselled face in ‘The V Room’ is beyond me. Reggie has oodles of personality in comparison to the Willoughbooby.
My main problem is she was such an obvious choice for the job. I’m not disregarding her looks (and baps) which obviously lure in the viewers (indiscreet move from the Beeb btw), but it’s the whole mumsy image she portrays, the patronising silly voice she’s not lost from when she was doing kids TV, and the awkward arm-round-the-contestants like she’s their best bud. Just no.
Strike number two: Danny O’Donoghue. Pre the blind auditions, I felt sorry for him. Nobody really knew who he was and he had to sit next to ‘The Voice’ himself – Sir Tom. But then the auditions started. Oh boy.
His blithery, dithery reluctance to turn his chair around really ground my gears. Granted he was probably in awe of uber cool Will.I.Am, but who isn’t? And his wittering on with ultra cheesy comments made Louis Walsh seem bearable.
He’s like a five-year-old with ants in his pants. If I had the chance to sit in those chairs I’d begrudge ever leaving them, but Danny, good grief, he’s all over the place, standing up, clambering all over them, gearing up his gang of giggling groupies. Ugh.
Strike number three is the factor of, well, the X Factor. I can’t really believe I’m agreeing with Jessie J but her dislike of too much production is resonant with me too because surely, the mantra of the show is ‘The Voice’ and so all the dancers and lights are like hints of the show’s nemesis along with the emotional VTs of returning home and seeing their life outside the show.
We’re half expecting Dermot to run out at any minute, but then it’s just Holly, again. Oh and I almost forgot Frances Wood, Wakefield’s answer to Cher Lloyd (not something to brag about really) who would be actually quite good if she stopped putting all her attitude in her voice and kept her aggressive chin still for a second. Because let’s face, Jessie J has got the attitude bit down to a tee.
I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long without mentioning Will.I.Am. What baffled me in the blind auditions was how people didn’t necessarily choose him to be their coach. He’s the image of success; cool just drips off him like a 99. And yes I know he can be cheesier than Danny and says ‘dope’ in all seriousness, but it’s okay because he does it in his slick ‘Go Hard or Go Home’ bomber jacket. Will 1 – Danny 0. Singer, songwriter, motivator, side-parting owner. What’s not to love about the pea?
Next up, the contestants. Each team has one ultimate voice and the rest are albeit good, but far less memorable. For example, Sir Tom ‘Namedropping’ Jones has Ruth – no adjective required. Will.I.Am has my future husband Tyler James (and Jaz but Tyler wins in my eyes). Jessie ‘Different Wig Each Week’ J has Vinz, my second fave contestant and Danny ‘Sit Down’ O’Donoghue has… oh. Exactly.
Having weighed up the pros and cons, I’m still Team Voice. It’s been the light at the end of a tunnel for Saturday night viewing and makes for perfect hangover catch-up telly if you missed out. I usually record it so I can fast forward Holly/Danny and then pause on Tyler’s face. I’ve a new found love for Tom Jones, even if he does look a bit like a chicken nugget. Even Jessie J is bearable when she balances her intonation and stops trying to be the ‘it’ girl. Anything with Reggie Yates is a winner and as for Tyler James, well, there aren’t enough words…
14 May, 2012